I’m writing as Living With Depression has been my way of life, since I can remember. There is so much to say, that doesn’t get said, and so many thoughts, that don’t get shared. So much doesn’t get communicated, and the way of life becomes a narrow and hard path. You become certain, that it is better not to let anyone know how life really is. I know for sure, that I have become an expert at making out that everything is ok. Mainly to family. It can be agonising.
The thing is you want to cut off from so much, and this further isolates a person. The isolation is where a person with depression can remain, stuck. I believe the way of life today, (and probably always) requires a certain amount of survival skills, and takes a pretty amiable, adaptable personality to withstand the changes and challenges that any life unfolds.
Nobody is without their own loss, or their own worry, but depression immobilises a person. It not only can push them back, it can push them down, and make a person truly believe that because they are ill and such a burden, that life would be better off without them.
It is a baffling illness, because it sounds so harmless. And yet, it is like being under a blanket unable to breath. It is like watching a film, when you already know the beginning, middle, and end. No matter what happens, life never gets going.
In a life where you have to manage this kind of depression, friends go, nothing sticks, there can be no certainty. It is like walking in fog.